The hardest part of owning a dog is knowing that they do not live as long as we do. We spend a more than a decade with our friends and in that time they go from an active youngster to an elderly dog. Then we have to say good bye to a friend that has been by our side through good times and bad. The loss is compounded by the fact that not everyone will understand how we feel. When a human family member dies, friends and co-workers are quick to rally round, but when a beloved pet dies, often the sentiment is " well, it was just a dog"! The pain and loss felt by a grieving pet owner is often just as real and deep as if a human family member had died. To move on, it is necessary to allow time to grieve and to understand that the pain felt is normal.

Grief is Normal

The first step in moving on is to recognize that the grief you feel is totally normal. Do not be ashamed of the depth of your grief. You loved your pet and is natural that you would feel deep pain at his passing. For many, the dog is actually a family member in every sense of the word. Often, for a person without much immediate family or for a senior citizen, the dog is the center of his or her world. The loss of a pet in these circumstances can be especially devastating and the grief can be crippling. Recognize that it would be abnormal not to grieve. Take time to mourn. Spend time remembering the good things about your pet and your relationship with him. There are support groups in many areas that hold meetings for people to discuss their loss. Your vet may be able to recommend a group in your area.

It helps to accept your pet’s passing by observing it in some meaningful way. Some people hold services for their pets and you may find a pet cemetery in your area that can help you. You don’t necessarily have to be so formal, however. A group of friends gathered to remember a good dog is as good a service as any held in a church or cemetery. You may elect to write a poem about your dog. Perhaps making a donation to an animal shelter or planting a tree in his memory would be a good choice.

Time

You will not be able to get over the loss in one day. Just as you would at the death of a human family member, take the time to mourn. Take a day or two off work if you can. Realize that it will take time to feel better, but that you will feel better eventually. Time is a great healer. Try to get enough sleep and reduce other stresses if possible.

The Stages of Mourning

Recognize the five natural stages of mourning. The first stage is denial—"this cannot have happened", "my dog cannot have died". It is a natural human defense reaction to the intense stress of a loss to deny that it occurred. The next stage is anger. You rage against the vet who could not save your beloved pet, or the person who inadvertently left the gate open, or even against God for taking your pet away. Anger is often a mask that covers the intense grief. It is easier to be angry than to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the pain and grief. The third stage is bargaining. We run through the events in our mind and try to find a different conclusion-"if only I got a second opinion", "if only I had tried harder". It is our mind’s way of trying to regain control of a hopeless situation. The fourth and perhaps the most painful stage is depression. The mourner has given in to the sadness and grief. This is a natural reaction. The final stage is acceptance. The mourner comes to terms with the death and has learned to move on. There is no set time for each stage—people deal with pain differently. A person with multiple pets or a large support network may recover faster than a person who is relatively alone. If the mourner does not seem to be recovering from the depression in time, the situation may require the intervention of a family member or perhaps a counselor.

Children and Mourning

Children can deeply feel the loss of a cherished pet. It may be doubly painful for a child as he may not really understand what death is. Talk to him honestly about the loss and his feelings. Let him know that it is ok to be sad and let him ask questions. Be supportive and a good listener.

Healing

With time, the pain of your loss will be replaced by the memories of the love you shared with your dog. It may seem at first that you will never laugh again, but soon you will find yourself chuckling as you remember some silly thing your dog did or some happy time that you shared.

Do not allow yourself to be pressured into getting a "replacement" dog. Dogs, like humans, are all individuals. You can never replace the dog that you loved. That said, when YOU are ready, get another dog. Be sure that the time is right, but don’t allow yourself to say "I will never have another dog!. The greatest gift you can give your beloved pet is to give another dog all the love and happiness that you gave him.

Suggested Reading:

Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet : Saying Goodbye with Love, Dignity, and Peace of Mind, Myrna M. Milani; Format: Sofcover, 377 pp: ISBN: 0761516484; Publisher: Prima Publishing; Pub. Date: Nov 1998

Final Farewell : Preparing for & Mourning the Loss of Your Pet, Marty Tousley, Katherine Heuerman; Format: Sofcover, 85 pp; ISBN: 0965712818; Publisher: Our Pals; Pub. Date: Nov 1997

Source: Unknown, received in an e-mail September 2002.

 

Jepson's Bayou Le' Bear UD, OA, CGC, TDI, TT, VC

 

Ro-Trac's Backdraft UD, NA, CGC, TT

 

 

Rottnridge Zima Herder of Ridgebacks

Zima was adopted from the Caddo Animal Shelter September of 2002.  I only had the pleasure of her spunky personality and unselfish love for a few short weeks. After catching Distemper from the shelter the dreaded decision was made to give her back to God to make her well again.

 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

A Little Dog Angel

High up in the courts of heaven today
a little dog angel waits;
with the other angels he will not play,
but he sits alone at the gates.
"For I know my master will come" says he,
"and when he comes he will call for me."

The other angels pass him by
As they hurry toward the throne,
And he watches them with a wistful eye
as he sits at the gates alone.
"But I know if I just wait patiently
that someday my master will call for me."

And his master, down on earth below,
as he sits in his easy chair,
forgets sometimes, and whispers low
to the dog who is not there.
And the little dog angel cocks his ears
and dreams that his master's voice he hears.

And when at last his master waits
outside in the dark and cold,
for the hand of death to open the door,
that leads to those courts of gold,
he will hear a sound through the gathering dark,
a little dog angel's bark.

Author unknown...

 For more information on how to deal with the lose of a pet please contact the following:

 

You are listing to a MIDI called Evening Falls, author unknown.

 

Last updated on Saturday, July 17, 2004 10:48:48 AM -0500

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